Yes, your union with what is Absolute is already in place, but it is covered with the dust of lifetimes of experiences in which the Real You has been ignored in the name of survival of the body. This is not wrong, and it is not anyone’s fault, it is just how things are.
When we were children, our options were few. It most often seemed that we had no choice in what happened to us, but this was not, and is not, the case. Our power is Absolute and eternal, but as children we took the position of having no power, no choice. We did this because other options could have led to death of the body. Because of the limited options available to us as children, we did not understand that we had power and that it wasn’t going to go away, ever. How could we have known?
The choices you made then were good ones, the right ones in that time, under those circumstances. But now you are an adult and are wise to all this, and are seeking your original joy. Now you can afford to change your perspective and live, feel, and act from a place of knowing that you have power, and that you have the right to access it and make wise, conscious choices from a much wider menu of options. One of those options is to not choose.
Throwing In the Towel
We have all heard the word ‘surrender’ in association with the idea of succumbing, giving up, yielding, submitting, losing the battle, being a victim, but I don’t mean it that way. You are not being asked to become a door-mat. On the contrary, you are accessing your most fundamental power by choosing not to use it. You are choosing to have God/Truth manage your meditation instead of trying to do it yourself. Your own will is out of the way.
When you surrender—give up, yield, submit, throw in the towel—you are surrendering only to God, Truth, Divine Love, the Absolute. You are not just surrendering, you are delegating God to run your meditation for you, on your behalf, in your best interest.
Surrendering, submitting only to God, will not only protect you, it will take you to God. You get what you surrender to. You become what you worship. God will take care of you and God will take care of your meditation. So if you want God, Truth, The Absolute, submit to That, and That is what you will get. How could it be otherwise?
When you surrender your body, feelings and mind to God in Natural Meditation, you have experiences. You will experience things in your mind. You will have physical experiences of bodily movements and sensations. And you will experience feelings that are nice, exciting or transcendent and feelings of doubt, fear, guilt and anger, etc. These experiences will refine over time and ultimately God/Truth will prove Itself to you. Then things will begin to change…again. This is called “progress”.
EXPERIMENT 1: When you have thoughts about your meditation and find yourself wondering if you were really surrendered or not, stop for a moment and notice this thought. This is your mind thinking about it. That’s all it is. Just notice it. You don’t have to do anything about it. You don’t have to decide if you did anything right or wrong. Just notice the thought.
EXPERIMENT 2: If in the process of noticing the thought you happen to notice that you are judging yourself or your surrender, just notice that your mind is judging and let it go. When you started your meditation, you did so by surrendering yourself to God. Whatever happened or didn’t happen in your meditation was the result of this. Just assume a position of faith, whether you feel you have any faith or not. For now, it is your main tool. Later it will become fact. Using this tool is how you get to ‘later’.