Stories From Initiates
"In my meditation yesterday, I started to hear chimes
so I figured my meditation timer was going off, though it usually only
rings three times. I thought I should turn it off so tried to go to
it. It took a lot of effort to move the body, like pawing through mud,
but I managed to crawl over to where I keep my timer. But then the
body collapsed on the floor in front of the table. I came back to regular
consciousness, opened my eyes and realized I had never moved at all—I
was still in my original position. It took about five minutes
before I felt I was “all there”.
I looked at my timer and it had not gone off yet, in fact it did so
a minute or two later.
"This morning I set off two timers. I felt
alert and had slept well the night before but fell into the same deep
state for three hours, through both timers. No one was home and I
did not have to go to work today so I guess that was the Plan. I was
nidra, laying in my hut, but when I tried to come out of meditation
I could not seem to, I kept falling back.
"Finally I managed to roll
over and started crawling around the perimeter of my hut on my hands
and knees. I could only go a few feet and then I would fall down—I
remember by face hitting the floor—and fall back into a deep
state. Then I would come out of it and crawl a few more feet.
I came under my window I began to hear a loud screeching noise, like
tomcats fighting. It got louder and louder and I could hear it whirling
around the outside of my hut in a circle. My rational mind seemed to
be active and I remember thinking how glad I was to be safely inside
and how I was glad my pet was a house cat, away from those toms. The
next thing I remember I was back in the body and opened my eyes to
see the ceiling. I could not move and it took a long time for me to
"When I looked at the clock three hours had passed.
I kind of stumbled into the house and lay on my bed as I did not feel
that I was out of meditation yet. I began having strong abdominal contractions
which lasted several minutes. I have not had those types of physical
movements for a long time. Finally, I came to and started the day.
I felt very emotional as I have been lately, sometimes crying out of
devotion and other times crying out of despair that God has forgotten
me. I did a little Mental Yoga to lift the mood and went for a long
walk in the woods. (I seem to be able to regulate my mental state better
Prakriti (Carol R.)
Ma came into my life back in April 1992. I can still remember that
fateful day as clearly as yesterday. I took the Shaktipat Intensive
with her in Toronto that April and my life has not been the same
since. I probably shouldn't write in the past tense because the
grace that was bestowed then, I can feel this very day.
"I had not experienced the Divine in such a real way until then. I had Pranotthana in
less than 48 hours during my second meditation following initiation. I remember
sharing this experience with her. I exclaimed, “God paid me a visit last
night!” It rings now as it did then.
"The image I have of my relationship with Durga Ma is that She and I are
traveling together on a long pilgrimage of which She is quite familiar. We
finally reach the sacred Divine Mother Temple (Shakti/Durga/Kali) that She
had talked about so lovingly. We enter the temple together and She, through
some sacred, secret language, communicates with the Divine Mother and introduces
me to Her, and She speaks to me.
"Durga Ma has opened a direct channel for me to the Divine. This in very
real to me. She has demonstrated to me in an EXPERIENTIAL way the existence
of God and that we can and do live in Her abode. I hold Her with the greatest
reverence in my heart.
"Ancient scriptures talk about the need of having a guru to light a sadhak's
path. Well Durga Ma is That One. She is the lighter of my lamp!"
Kalki (Basil C.)
"When I was ushered into Durga Ma's private
room, I had no idea I was going to receive the next initiation. What was
revealed to me was the kind of thing that is so obvious, no one would ever
think of it. At first I was in shock. On one hand, it was so simple I couldn't
believe it. On the other hand, it changed everything.
"I felt honored and a little dumbfounded.
My world had forever been changed. I felt mature and immature at the same
time. It was like I was old and young all at once. Thinking about it made
"I was almost numb driving home that day.
The revelation was running around in my head, and apparently it was having
more than just a metaphorical affect on me. As I drove my minivan on the
toll road towards home, all the electrical door locks began locking and unlocking
uncontrollably. The circuits had literally blown out the door locks! How
much more symbolic can you get?
"I mean, I was blown away, but my car, too?
It was too much. I had to replace all the door locks in the van. And in another
way, all the locks in my life were blown away, too. Thank you, Durga Ma."
Rupa (Diane R.)
"When I first began Surrender Meditation
I frequently experienced kriyas, primarily in the form of leg
and arm movements. Although this flipping and flapping was bizarre
in its sensation of being initiated by something other than me, it
wasn't violent, and Durga Ma assured me it was not uncommon. Since
lying on the floor to meditate went against my cross-legged-straight-back
image, the kriyas somehow reassured the skeptical part of my mind that
I was, indeed, surrendered.
"During those first months I came
down with a sinus infection. My mind was quick to point out that there
was no way I was going to be able to surrender, but I took out my meditation
cushion, said my mantra, and began my meditation anyway. Ten or so
minutes later my mind said, "See, you can't meditate in this condition." I
opened my eyes and looked to my right. Instantly, my head was slammed
back into position with such force that, should it have kept going
past center all the way to the left, I would have had whiplash! But
my head stopped, facing forward, with no ill effects. In the meditation
that followed (or, I should say, continued) I had my first experience
of nada — I heard what sounded like a train going very fast,
right next to me. It was absolutely real and almost deafening. This
lasted several minutes."
Kalyana (Kathryne P).
Find more experiences on Mystical
Durga Ma's blog site.
Shaktipat and Shaktipat